Identity and Belonging Essay Example for Free

Identity and Belonging Essay This expository piece draws upon the context ‘Identity and Belonging’ in conjunction with personal memoirs from Alice Pung’s ‘Growing up Asian in Australia’. The purpose of this piece is to explore and invite my audience to experience what it is like to be the subject of isolation due to differences in appearance, language and culture and to point out the internal struggles people have while trying to discover their true identity whilst in the presence of others. I have referred to a number of stories from Alice Pung’s novel such as Towards manhood, a call to arms and sticks and stones and such like; all of which outline the issue of not being able to express oneself in the presence of others. The language used in this feature article is that of a formal and serious tone that reflects hardship of migrants and people who struggle to discover their true identity and a sense of belonging Essay In a diverse world where there is no conventional group to which we all belong it can be hard to find a concrete group where we can feel a sense of belonging and confidence to express ones true identity. The presence of others whether it is family or friends effects the way we act in certain situations and groups and causes us to reluctantly have several identities. However they may not always be our true identity but put-on in order to satisfy others and act in accordance to what they expect of us. We can create a new identity by changing our appearance, clothes and position in a group however in the process we may lose sight and become confused about who we really are and what identity is appropriate for different groups. It is not always easy to be our self in the presence of peers and family and living up to their expectations when you are confused about you own identity and sexuality. In the story ‘Towards Manhood’ the main character Benjamin found it challenging to be himself in the company of other because of his sexuality and not being able to conform to other’s expectations. He used his Asian appearance and identity to hide the fact that he was gay and he pretended to like a girl so his peers wouldn’t think he was â€Å"a comprised failure of a man†. However when he confesses his sexuality to his mother, who surprisingly acknowledges that her son was gay and that â€Å"something went wrong in the womb† he begins to accept and come to terms with who he is. It is through the acceptance of other that are closest to you that you get a sense of belonging and security and for Benjamin this was his family and his boyfriend Scott. It is also difficult to be ourselves in the company of others when your physical appearance and culture are dissimilar. Having a robust ethnic background can act upon the ability to fit into a foreign culture and way of life, but also it can affect the way others perceive us. In the story ‘A call to Arms’ Michelle found it hard to fit in because of the constant strain between Chinese heritage and Australian upbringing. Michelle felt a great deal of isolation because the Australian people weren’t accustomed to her appearance and her culture, â€Å"M y life seemed so incredibly abnormal compared to everyone else I knew† which often left her victimised by her peers. Michelle began to be ashamed of her culture around the presence of her peers and she began to lose her sense of identity and belonging. However on her trip to Hong Kong she â€Å"felt something she had never experienced before, and something I certainly never consciously been seeking: acceptance†. Everything that wasn’t accepted back in Australia â€Å"no longer incited automatic embarrassment† and she was able to express her culture without being looked down upon. It wasn’t until she tried to communicate to other in Chinese that she realised that only her appearance fitted in and finally acknowledges that both cultures shaped her identity. Our heritage and upbringing can place a great deal of stress when trying to conform to others and discover our own identity. It can leave us feeling isolated when around people that are different and not immune to your culture however sometimes people create a new identity in order to down play their culture and ethnic origins. Having a strong ethnic heritage can sometimes urge people to create a new identity in order to feel a sense of connection and belonging with the societies around them. In the memoir ‘Sticks and stones and such like’ Sunil attempts to create an identity that is accepted by the Australian culture and does this by changing his name to one that is easily pronounced by his fellow peers and is considered to be an Anglo- white majority name. Sunil creates multiple identities in order to fit into a Majority Australian- white school and along the way sacrifices and betrays his culture. After changing his name Sunil feels a sense of acceptance and anonymity among his white peers. However when Sunil’s mother finds out, she is dismayed that her son would give up his culture in order to feel a sense of belonging amongst his friends. After finding out about the origins of his name and why his mother treasured it so much, Sunil begins to rediscover his ethnic identity and finally accepts his own name and finds a sense of belonging. By having a different name that is unfamiliar to the people around you can sometimes give a sense of isolation and highlight the culture barriers between people. Often many ethnic people change their name in order to conform and make it easier to pronounce for the people that are unaccustomed to their language and culture and by taking on another name, they also create a new identity and clear any stereotypes of that race. We cannot always be our self in the company of others and that urges us to take on another identity. People often create a false identity on social networking sites in order to create a person that is desired by peers and also random people. People who are discriminated against or behold a sense of isolation because of differences in appearance and culture often create a profile online of how they want to appear to others and by creating a false identity that they can hide behind can give them a sense of belonging to a group and acceptance. We cannot always be ourselves in the company of others which often leads to false identities being created and a sense of not fitting in. The presence of other determines the identities in which we take on or want to be perceived as however this can also lead to a misinterpretation of their real identity and also sacrifices of heritage and culture.

EMAIL ETIQUETTE Essay -- essays research papers fc

Email etiquette refers to a set of dos and don’ts that are recommended by business and communication experts in response to the growing concern that people are not using their email effectively or appropriately. Since email is part of the virtual world of communication, many people communicate in their email messages the same way they do in virtual chat rooms: with much less formality and sometimes too aggressively. Email etiquette offers some guidelines that all writers can use to facilitate better communication between themselves and their readers. One overall point to remember is that an email message does not have non-verbal expression to supplement what we are "saying." Most of the time we make judgments about a person’s motives and intentions based on their tone of voice, gestures, and their proximity to us. When those are absent it becomes more difficult to figure out what the message sender means. It is much easier to offend or hurt someone in email a nd that is why it is important to be as clear and concise as possible. Electronic mail (E-mail) cannot replace personal contact. David Angell states that electronic email has many advantages, â€Å"†¦eliminates phone tag, †¦breaks down the distance and time barriers of telephone calls and traditional written communication, †¦shortens the cycle of written communication, †¦improves productivity, †¦creates flexibility†¦by reducing telephone interruptions.† (Angell-Heslop 2). There is a tendency to be less formal or careful, which can sometimes provoke anger. Remember that direct, person-to-person contact is best for handling sensitive, difficult, complex, or emotional issues. Therefore, a company needs to implement etiquette rules for the following three reasons: professionalism, by using proper email language your company will convey a professional image, efficiency, emails that get to the point are much more effective than poorly worded emails, and protection from liability: employee awareness of email risks will protect your company from costly law suits. There are many etiquette guides and many different etiquette rules. Some rules will differ according to the nature of your business and the corporate culture. A few of these rules are to be concise and to the point, answer all questions, pre-empt further questions, use proper spelling, grammar & punctuation, answer swiftly, do not attach unnecessar... ...ensitive. If you don't understand a particular item, ask the sender for clarification before replying to an incorrect conclusion. In a reply, include the relevant parts of the original message for clarity, but keep the quotations to a minimum. Otherwise, simply attach the original message. Cite your information clearly and correctly, even if you are paraphrasing. When ending an email always use a signature because it identifies who you are and includes means of contacting you, but keep it short. Remember that electronic email is about communication with other people. When you compose an e-mail message, read it over before sending it and ask yourself what your reaction would be if you received it. Anytime spent on making out email clearer is time well spent. Works Cited Angell, David, and Brent Heslop. The Elements of E-Mail Style: Communication Effectively Via Electronic Mail. Canada: Addison-Wesley Publishing Company, 1994. Harris, David. â€Å"Electronic Mail Etiquette.† School of Computing. 1997. Queens University 14 July 2003 . Miller, Samantha. E-Mail Etiquette: Do’s and Don’ts and Disaster Tales from People Magazine’s Internet Manners Expert. New York: Warner Books, Inc., 2001.

Look both ways

Watt illustrates the internal emotions that the characters have, such as anxiety, suspicion and despair. These recurring, mental Images cause both Merely and Nick, to live life In fear of death. When Nick was diagnosed with cancer, he immediately saw his life flashing past him in the form of a photometer. Watt uses these montages to describe Nick's fear of death and that though he may seem in control on the outside, he is actually feels alone, confused and anxious that his life will end the same way his father's did.His fear of cancer and his assumption that he won't survive his battle with cancer causes him to give up and therefore not live life, since he would die soon anyway. He therefore does not participate In his regular activities such as work and cricket with enthusiasm, and is unable to be happy and live life fully. Merely also struggles with her visions of potential threats everywhere she goes. The vivid images of knife attacks and robbers shooting her cause her to feel ner vous and to live in suspicion of everyone around her.This is evident when Merely becomes anxious when Nick asks her for her phone number, even though they were Intimate the night before. This shows that due to her fear of the worst-case scenario occurring, she struggles to embrace life, take risks and form relationships, which are essential in life. Watt also demonstrates how past experiences of death can have an impact on the individual's perspective of their own life and death. Nick reflects on his father's battle with cancer in fear that he too will suffer and not survive.His memories of his father struggling to complete dally activities such as going to the toilet cause Nick to become even more worried, since he is so sure that because his father didn't survive. He wouldn't either. He also doesn't willingly involve himself with Merely in fear that she too will suffer as much as his mum did, when his father was ill. Due to his fear of suffering, Nick gives up and develops negativ e thoughts and feelings towards others and his life.On the contrary, his mother Joan had a positive view and explained that it doesn't matter how life ends, It's how it was. ‘ His mother chose to remember the happy moments In her husband's life and know that though her husband did suffer tremendously, he did enjoy his life and live It fully. These two characters developed opposite attitudes towards the death of their loved one. Watt shows that this is turn affected how they viewed their future. Like Nick, Merely also looks towards the negative side of life.Her tendency to see danger and death wherever she goes is the cause of her negative emotions towards fife and fear of death. She therefore Is unable to take risks, In the fear that the worst- case scenario will occur. This is the reason why she is awkward around Nick. Even though she likes him, she is still fearful that she could get hurt as the result of the relationship. When she explains to Nick that her father's death wa s ‘the natural order of things,' and ‘that it was meant to be,' Watt demonstrates that Merely does not take control of her own life.This Is why Merely Just accepts her fear of death and taking attitude, Merely is unable to live a relaxed life; she is constantly â€Å"looking both ways†. Although the film centers on death, Watt's film is a positive affirmation about life. She maintains a clear message that despite all the negativity in the world, we need to reunite with our loved ones so that we can pursue our fears with renewed hope and optimism. Merely and Nicks connection and strong bond is a clear example of the need for connection and warmth as a result of experiencing similar tragedy and despair.

Thesis on Should Parents be Friends with Their Children

Introduction This paper takes the view that parents should not be friend with their children. Being friends with your children may prove to be a bad idea because these children may end up not respecting their parents because they take them as their friends. Parents who want to befriend their children may contribute to the problem because when they style themselves as their children’s buddies, they may find it so hard to enforce the standards and rules they have set. Being friends with your children may put a notion into the children’s mind that there is nobody who is in charge; they may think that all of them are equal, because in friendship no one has authority over the other. Thus it is not appropriate for parents to be friends with their children. Dewar states that when parents become friends with their children, they tend to treat them as a confidant which is a very big cost to the children as the children may be stressed out by the many personal confessions made by their parents. She goes on to say that friendship between the parents and the child depends on what friendship means to you. Friendship may cause problems when it means that you treat children as an adult confidant, but not all friendship will conform to the model of egalitarian where all are equal, these are the friendships that are considered healthy between a parent and the child. In this case the mother is first and foremost the mother to the children but she might as well consider herself as a friend because she shares a common sense of trust, mutual loyalty and respect with her kids. Here, the parent and the child respect, trust and care about each other they can sit down and enjoy each others company as well as having an interesting conversation in an infor mal setting. This however has certain restraints, the parent is the dominant party and has to keep some information to himself or herself and must at some point exercise authority over the child. (Dewar,2009) Parents at times want to be cool to their kids; they think that being cool will make it easier for their children to open up to them more than they would have if they were not cool. Being cool has it advantages and disadvantages, when a parent is too cool to the child; the child ends up thinking that he has all the freedom to do as he pleases and may end up making very bad choices and mistakes because their parents are cool and trust them. Being cool is good but it has to be to some extent, trusting your child is good but that trust should also be to some extent because a child would abuse that trust and make mistakes that may cost them and even their parents. In an article, Landers says that any good parent should have the best interest of their child at heart and would do everything to maintain the well being of their child. It is not realistic for a parent to be friends with their children because it is not a realistic concept of good parental care. A child needs a figure of authority that is very capable of showing them what is wrong and what is right. That is the most or almost the meaning of a parent. There is a line that should be drawn in parenting that should not be crossed. (Landers, 2005) Some parents are too lazy to perform parental duties to their children, they themselves are still kids or they got into parenthood while they are still too young or they just do not want to be responsible to their kids. Such kinds of parents are called the Not My Problem Parents; they tend to keep away from their children, even when the children make mistakes they prefer to distance themselves from the actions of their children. These parents try as much as possible to avoid responsibility. These kinds of parents are the ones who want to be friends with their children because with being friends they rest from being parents. (Hersage, 2009) When parents are friend with their children, the children use this to their advantage, they want to get their way into everything, whatever they want they get, if not so, they through temper tantrums to make their parents give them what they want even if it is something the parents can not afford, these kids have been raised in an environment that is not strict, the parents are their friends thus they tend to manipulate their parents into consenting into everything they want. Sometimes when a parent becomes a friend to the child or becomes lazy and not perform their parental duties, a child may be forced to fill in the gap the parent has left. The child may take up the responsibility of an adult and make decisions that he or she is not supposed to take because he or she is a confidant to the parent and thinks that the parent would not mind if they take up a certain responsibility. This may be dangerous because the child needs to be a child and do what a child should do, shouldering such kinds of responsibility may lead to the child not performing the parental duties when they become parents, they may become children when they are parents because they skipped that stage of childhood, also these children end up not following rules, they think they are equal to their parents and may want to do things against the rules set, they have in mind that their parents are their friends and would understand their behavior. Children need a very clear delineation that i s between the adult world and the child’s world, the problems, discussions, worries, emotions, responsibilities and issues of adults should only be kept among the adults. (Kellevision, 2009) In the quest to become the friends of their children, parents are portraying a bad image to their kids. In such a context the child is a confidant to the parent and the child can be very open to the parent, this creates some kind of equal ground between the two. This brings about very disrespectful kids because their parents are not setting a good example for them. A parent should be the authoritative party, he or she should set rules and make sure they are followed to the later, being a friend to the child will mean compromising the rules you have set, thus, the child will not take the parent seriously and will tend to be disrespectful. These children end up not having self respect because they were not taught about respecting themselves, their parents dwell so much in making friends with their children and forget that they are supposed to teach their children on self respect and discipline. The parents fear that if they are so strict with their children, they would not love them. T hese children end up being a big problem to the society at large. Boundaries need to be set by parents and make sure they are enforced to the latter. Without boundaries children tend to go as far as dropping out of school and having kids at an early age because their parents never set these boundaries. Parents need to tell their children how far they can tolerate their behavior if any child goes beyond that line; the parent needs to take appropriate measures. This will instill discipline in these children, when they want to make a decision they must consider their parents boundaries and the consequences that come with crossing these boundaries. Conclusion Parents should not be their children’s friends, they should first be parents take on the responsibilities of a parent and raise their children with the highest level of discipline that they can. Discipline is the key issue in raising a child, because with discipline a child grows with all the virtues needed in the day to day life. If a parent wants to be a friend to the child, he or she needs to set a limit to the friendship. Instead of being friends with your child, have an open relationship, where, when the child does something wrong, you discipline or correct her and when they have a problem listen to them without judging them and advice them where you can, this way the child will be open with you without compromising your parental responsibility. References Landers, J. (2005). Can Parents Be Best Friends With Their Children? Retrieved 30 November, 2010 from http://www.gibbsmagazine.com/Can%20Parents.htm Dewar, G. (2009). Parenting Science: Should Parents Be Friends With Their Kids? Retrieved 30 November, 2010 from http://www.parentingscience.com/parents-be-friends.html Hersage, M. (2009). Ineed2know.org: Why Some Parents Try To Be Friends of Their Teenagers Instead of Parents. Retrieved 30 November, 2010 from http://www.ineed2know.org/children/parents-or-friends.htm Kellevision. (2009). Children Need Parents, Not Friends. Retrieved 30 November, 2010 fromhttp://www.kellevision.com/kellevision/2009/08/children-need-parents-not-friends.html